Finding the way to myself.
When I was about 25 years old I started asking myself why I am What I am. I didn’t know what I was and even more I didn’t know who I was.
This still remains a big question for most people…
We almost never find exactly who we are unless we distance ourselves from society for very long and clear our minds from every belief, conviction, perception, opinion and even experience; and then we may find our true nature; but this is very a long discussion.
So at 25 I started to look for What I was. I went to seminars and workshops and self-development holiday retreats in the nature to find out what my personality and character were like and how others see me in the context. I found out a lot of interesting information about myself and humans in general and learnt a lot about how people think. And after I found the What I started asking myself Why I was What I was.
That was the most difficult and confusing.
Why did I become What I am and not something else?
Why am I This and not That? Why am I so shy and introverted and not dynamic and extroverted? What are the causes? Is it because of it my family and my difficult childhood? Maybe. Is it because of the character I was born with? Is it because of the country and the culture in which I was raised?
I spent years and years reading about all available methodologies and theories in Psychology; about trauma and personalities typology; Philosophy about Psyche in Aristotle and Plato; about typologies in Hippocrates theory of medicine; Homeopathy types related to bodily weaknesses and to different personality types and a lot of other approaches that would give me an answer. I even attended a course on Neuroscience with a Harvard Psychiatry Professor in Boston which gave me a more scientific and biological background but also revealed that DNA is a critical factor in human behavior.
With time it became clear to me that there is something inside us that we are born with, which makes us what we are and our environment just makes it blossom or makes it disappear. So our DNA and the appropriate environment can make us blossom; or else it will take a lot of work to become an acceptable version of ourselves and it will be really hard work to find inner balance.
All those years there has been a continuous struggle with myself to change. My nature was happy, dynamic and extraverted but the environment I grew up depressed me and suppressed in such a way that I had become the opposite. The only way to survive in that environment was to be silent and hidden! It took me a lot of time, effort and disappointments to find my way to myself.
But it was worth it! Now I am What I was born to be: a dynamic and self-confident person who knows how to help others either as a Consultant or as a Coach. Because I have been through Change I know what it feels like; I know how difficult it is. But I know how rewarding it is; no other achievement can give you this feeling of contentedness and harmony.
Now I know that Who we Want to Be is all about knowing our Strengths, understanding our Potential, making Decisions for ourselves and Act upon it with Responsibility. I was lucky because I am disciplined and open minded by nature so I could follow this through myself without external support.
I coach people to this process. In some cases my approach is a Consulting – Coaching process; some people know how to learn so I provide some knowledge to ease their process of learning and developing because they can immediately absorb and adapt it to their style and evolve quickly; in other cases people don’t know how to learn and need to discover themselves and evolve their abilities; in such cases I practice Coaching to support them through the Change of Learning. This is the most transformative experience in life if you incorporate it in your way of understanding the world.
Then you find inner peace and balance because you know. What else could be happiness?
If someone is considering change because he/she is not happy and doesn’t know how to start I would only tell them: Change is believing in your potential; embrace the learning involved in making it happen!
The article was initially published at “The Good Coach” (https://the-goodcoach.com/tgcblog/2018/1/29/my-story-of-coaching-finding-the-way-to-myself-by-maria-biquet-guest?rq=maria%20biquet)